So, Here is a List of Foolish Things I Have Done

So, Here is a List of Foolish Things I Have Done
Courtesy of Upesh Manoush

Earlier this year, I had a confrontation with an activist asylum seeker from Pakistan. The confrontation came on the heels of the Confidential Informant Techs‘ doxing of my personal information after I researched the phenomenon of asylum morality policing in Direct Provision Ireland. During that confrontation, I voiced to the Pakistani asylum seeker that the International Protection Office could find no record of him being  a lawyer. The truth of the matter is that I did not get that information from the International Protection Office; it came from his wife. She disclosed that fact to me while she and he were involved in a domestic violence dispute at the Kinsale Road Accommodation Centre. After I confronted him for pretending to be a lawyer, and for not protecting all asylum seekers, all hell broke loose. For instance, in September 2022, I was notified that my parcel had arrived at a different address in the city, and for me to collect it. On my journey to collect my parcel, I saw an Algerian asylum seeker, who lives in the same accommodation complex as I, speeding passed me on his bicycle. Our eyes also met as he came out of the location that had my parcel and rode pass me. When I entered the location I was told by the manager that the Algerian man had picked up my parcel. What I found suspicious was that the Algerian man went missing with my parcel for several hours, and didn’t return it until 10:00 P.M. on the night in question. Staff at the accommodation, and the investigator, Micheal Harney, tried to gaslight me into thinking he was a good Samaritan doing a good deed. However, if he were truly doing a good deed, why did he say to me “Don’t talk to me!” when I sat behind him on the bus and politely asked to speak to him about the day in question? My theory is the Algerian man was instructed to pick up my parcel so the asylum morality police could later use the information within it to dox me on a future date, as they did countless times on prior dates. Instead of having a group of hypocrites claiming to be “human rights advocates” who care about “Black and Brown” asylum seekers in Direct Provision circulate negative content about me, why not circulate it myself? So, here is a list of foolish things I have done:

Foolish Youngster

When I a foolish youngster, I use to be a thief. My friends and I sometimes stole to buy clothes and toiletries. My petty theft led to a lengthy prison term for which I served 3 years, and was released early for good behavior.

Attended University Late

I didn’t pursue an accredited university in my 20s. While I did attend some educational institutes, a couple did provide credit. As a result, I started later in life.

Used a Fake ID

In my 20s, my ex-boyfriend and I travelled to Delaware on vacation and got fake IDs that matched the other’s surname. We both carried our government ID and fake IDs in our wallets. It was like being married! I even presented it on occasion. In 2013, I had an encounter with police in Florida. They found the fake ID in my wallet and charged me.

Faked a British Accent; the Lack of Creativity.

I had a boyfriend who lived in London. I went to London to visit him and fell in love with how the natives spoke. When I got back to the United States, patrons in dance club told me that I had a “British twang,” and tipped me really well. I did not realize it but others had. So, I took on the British accent to increase my revenue as a dancer. In my opinion, it was awful! I felt I did not have the creativity or skill do the accent. For instance, YouTuber Truseneye92 does several accents quite well. So, here is a list of foolish things I have done. But there is more.

Defaulted on My Loans. Totally Irresponsible.

In my 20s and 30s, I defaulted on my credit card loans. I had also defaulted on one of my car loans.

I Romanticized Relationships

While in my 20s and 30s, I romanticized relationships to the point it made me co-dependent. I entered relationships with men who I knew I was incompatible with, just not to be alone. This included, but is not limited to married, abusive, emotionally controlling and manipulative men. Even though I had encountered this behavior, I still kept making the same mistakes over and over again.

I Failed to Show Emotional Intelligence After Encountering Abuse

I didn’t demonstrate emotional intelligence when I encountered abuse. When I was abused, used, emotionally controlled, and attacked, I said some really awful things to hurt those persons in return. Indeed, I hit them below the belt.

Moreover, when I was condescended toreproached and disrespectedI matched that behavior with a condescending, disrespectful and reproachful tone. So, here is a list of foolish things I have done. Oh, I have some more.

Wrote Explicit Details in my Memoir

My memoir, Running from Empty Shoes, contains some explicit details about my life experience. When I was part of an online writing group, I sought advice on how to write a memoir that involved explicit sexual encounters. I was told that if it were a true incident, and if it happened, there may be a need to write explicitly about it so readers can picture the incident occurring in their head, while reading the book. Little did I know, others would try to use all those details against me to re-traumatize me and, to cause me to relive those painful experiences. On reflection, it seems more accurate to say that I should have done more research into what should and should not have been put in a memoir, as it relates to sexual issues.

Went Big With Breast Augmentation

I went “big” with my breast augmentation. Biggest mistake I ever made.

I Took Shortcuts With My Education While Bullied

When the Direct Provision asylum morality police were monitoring my electronic devices, stealing documents from me, and deleting evidence I had gathered on those devices, I took shortcuts in my education. The behavior hindered my ability to study—and I must say—I did not study like I should. It got to a point that while researching the conduct in Direct Provision, I cared more about justice for those harmed by the group than materials in my university course.

I Kept My Past Under Lock & Key

Another foolish thing I did was: I had, sometimes, kept my past under lock and key. I wanted people to see me how I am today; not five or twenty years ago. I wanted people to see me now. This reflected a person who cared too much what other people thought, which bordered on self-hate and, put a low vibrational disposition into the Universe. But through this journey, and with the help of some amazing mentors in my university programs, I have learned to create the best ascription of myself.

So, here is the list of foolish things I have done in my life. If anyone knows me, loves me or hates me can think of anything else, please comment below.

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